Post by ECM on Jul 9, 2011 23:48:38 GMT -5
Well, fit guys anyway...
This happened to me today at a party for my sister (family plus lots of her and her boyfriend's friends):
*Blahblahblah, I'm ECM, you're some hot chick that I want to get to know (Biblically) better; I write for a living you do something about something which I've already tuned out and/or forgotten; yes, the weather is awesome...why are we talking about the weather?! We can both see it!; hobbies? (dork stuff first) I play (way too many) video games, reading hard science (because I'm a know-it-all that likes to seem like I know-it-all) and working out religiously because I have body dysmorphic disorder which, I'm told by my monstrously huge, Bolo Yeung-a-like buddy, CHI is good, because it keeps me ripped. This last comment opens the door to:
Girl: (coyly) So, do you wear shirts like that to show off your muscles?
Me: No, I wear it so that you'll ask me about my muscles.[footnote:1]Note: it was just a t-shirt that was a hair tight in the sleeves, so don't think I stride around in a wife-beater to show off my glistening, god-like physique at family birthday parties--I save stuff like that for weekdays.[/footnote]
Both: laughter, exchange phone #s, pencil in when I'll be sharpening my pencil next weekend, and so on.
The moral of this story? Cheeky chicks are awesome (not that you should probably ever consider marrying one because a lot of them aren't very good at turning off the flirtation after you're together...which makes ECM crazy...because he's a jealous freak).
But if there's a secondary moral it's: being fit can break the ice for you because, despite what they want you to believe[footnote:2]That a sense of humor and kindness to animals is all that matters. If this were actually the case, the self-deprecating geek w/ a cat would be king of the jungle. Instead he's the self-deprecating geek w/ a cat and the only thing he's lording it over is his friends because he just snagged that super-rare Magic: The Gathering card off ebay for, like, nothing because the fool misspelled the listing! How sweet is that! Oh, and (very) calloused hands. (Believe me: I've been on both sides of this equation: the geek loses almost *every* time--rare Alpha Black Lotus for fifteen bucks or not.[/footnote] being in good-to-great shape is chicknip.
The moral within a moral: get a gym membership and get in (excellent) shape! Or at least be like fei and do it at home. (And, hell, he's married so he doesn't even have the luxury of that sort of motivation and yet he's made substantial progress since January, so the sooner you start, the quicker you're going to see results! Slackers!)
The moral within a moral within, err, something: if this doesn't motivate you, then think of the health benefits, like:
*You'll have more sex, which is good for longevity.
*You can beat up guys like you used to be, so you can have more sex[footnote:3]No, funny guy, I am not saying you'd beat them up and rape them, Zig/kog/comedian on leave from the Comedy Store.[/footnote], which is good for longevity.
*Sex sex sex.
Need I say more??
Note: this message does not apply to married men (if you fucking cheat on your wives, I'll hunt you down and fucking kill you you fucking bastards); the Wintery Knight who is probably feeling terribly embarrassed having read even the first part of this post and, thus, isn't going to be having sex in any less than what we'd describe as geologic time even if he looked like Arnold circa 1977 or CHI circa 2011; and married men (if you fucking cheat on your wives, I'll hunt you down and fucking kill you you fucking bastards).
Caveat: and yes, all the muscle in the world isn't going to save you if you have the personality of drying paint and break out into a rash every time a girl gets within 20' of you. In that case, there's always homosexuality...no, wait...all those guys are in supershape...well...um...the priesthood?[footnote:4]3..2..1..is about as long as it's going to take for someone to combine the homosexuality joke w/ the priesthood joke, but I'm not going anywhere near any of that. At least now now.[/footnote]
Addendum: and, yes, if you have no idea what to do/where to start, you can PM me and/or start a thread and I will get you going.
Addendum 2: all of the above may be fictionalized (if it helps Wintery get over the trauma of it).
This happened to me today at a party for my sister (family plus lots of her and her boyfriend's friends):
*Blahblahblah, I'm ECM, you're some hot chick that I want to get to know (Biblically) better; I write for a living you do something about something which I've already tuned out and/or forgotten; yes, the weather is awesome...why are we talking about the weather?! We can both see it!; hobbies? (dork stuff first) I play (way too many) video games, reading hard science (because I'm a know-it-all that likes to seem like I know-it-all) and working out religiously because I have body dysmorphic disorder which, I'm told by my monstrously huge, Bolo Yeung-a-like buddy, CHI is good, because it keeps me ripped. This last comment opens the door to:
Girl: (coyly) So, do you wear shirts like that to show off your muscles?
Me: No, I wear it so that you'll ask me about my muscles.[footnote:1]Note: it was just a t-shirt that was a hair tight in the sleeves, so don't think I stride around in a wife-beater to show off my glistening, god-like physique at family birthday parties--I save stuff like that for weekdays.[/footnote]
Both: laughter, exchange phone #s, pencil in when I'll be sharpening my pencil next weekend, and so on.
The moral of this story? Cheeky chicks are awesome (not that you should probably ever consider marrying one because a lot of them aren't very good at turning off the flirtation after you're together...which makes ECM crazy...because he's a jealous freak).
But if there's a secondary moral it's: being fit can break the ice for you because, despite what they want you to believe[footnote:2]That a sense of humor and kindness to animals is all that matters. If this were actually the case, the self-deprecating geek w/ a cat would be king of the jungle. Instead he's the self-deprecating geek w/ a cat and the only thing he's lording it over is his friends because he just snagged that super-rare Magic: The Gathering card off ebay for, like, nothing because the fool misspelled the listing! How sweet is that! Oh, and (very) calloused hands. (Believe me: I've been on both sides of this equation: the geek loses almost *every* time--rare Alpha Black Lotus for fifteen bucks or not.[/footnote] being in good-to-great shape is chicknip.
The moral within a moral: get a gym membership and get in (excellent) shape! Or at least be like fei and do it at home. (And, hell, he's married so he doesn't even have the luxury of that sort of motivation and yet he's made substantial progress since January, so the sooner you start, the quicker you're going to see results! Slackers!)
The moral within a moral within, err, something: if this doesn't motivate you, then think of the health benefits, like:
*You'll have more sex, which is good for longevity.
*You can beat up guys like you used to be, so you can have more sex[footnote:3]No, funny guy, I am not saying you'd beat them up and rape them, Zig/kog/comedian on leave from the Comedy Store.[/footnote], which is good for longevity.
*Sex sex sex.
Need I say more??
Note: this message does not apply to married men (if you fucking cheat on your wives, I'll hunt you down and fucking kill you you fucking bastards); the Wintery Knight who is probably feeling terribly embarrassed having read even the first part of this post and, thus, isn't going to be having sex in any less than what we'd describe as geologic time even if he looked like Arnold circa 1977 or CHI circa 2011; and married men (if you fucking cheat on your wives, I'll hunt you down and fucking kill you you fucking bastards).
Caveat: and yes, all the muscle in the world isn't going to save you if you have the personality of drying paint and break out into a rash every time a girl gets within 20' of you. In that case, there's always homosexuality...no, wait...all those guys are in supershape...well...um...the priesthood?[footnote:4]3..2..1..is about as long as it's going to take for someone to combine the homosexuality joke w/ the priesthood joke, but I'm not going anywhere near any of that. At least now now.[/footnote]
Addendum: and, yes, if you have no idea what to do/where to start, you can PM me and/or start a thread and I will get you going.
Addendum 2: all of the above may be fictionalized (if it helps Wintery get over the trauma of it).
